Biography
Articles
Books
Back to
Charlotte Ave. Church of Christ Home Page
 

May the Guilty Party Remarry?
Reprinted from The Spiritual Sword
David R. Pharr


There is a caution in Hebrews 12:16-17 that seems especially relevant to our subject:

Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright. For ye know how that afterward, when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected: for he found no place for repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears.

Our attention in this text is not on whether Esau is charged with being a fornicator as well as being profane. Rather it is on the emphasis that is given to the fact that once he had sold his birthright there was no way for him to get it back. Though he sought it with bitter tears, there was no way he could undo what had already been done. It is possible for sin to create some circumstances for which there is no remedy. Some things done can never be undone. "All the king's horses and all the king's men can't put Humpty Dumpty back together again." The person whose marriage is destroyed because of his own guilt of fornication has forfeited his right to martial happiness. Like Esau, he may cry bitter tears and wish that he had never committed the sin, but what he has done cannot be undone.

The lectureship assignments are designed to cover all aspects of marriage, divorce, and remarriage issues. My assignment is on the specific question of whether the guilty party may remarry in a divorce situation which was caused by his or her fornication. This question presupposes that there is an innocent party in the divorce and that he or she initiated the divorce because of the other's immorality. This discussion does not address whether the innocent one can remarry, though we certainly believe such is permitted. That will be discussed in other lectures. Our attention at this time is only on the question: "May the Guilty Party Remarry?"

For example, suppose John is married to Jane. John commits fornication. Jane divorces John because of his fornication. Jane is free to marry someone else. She has the right to remarry, whether she chooses to do so or not. Her obligations as the wife of John no longer exist. But now that his marriage is dissolved, is John also permitted to marry someone else? Some reason that inasmuch as the previous marriage no longer exists John could enter into a God-approved marriage with another woman. Some who hold this view readily agree that neither party could Scripturally remarry if the divorce is for any reason other than fornication. They argue, though, that the fact of fornication has permitted the marriage to be dissolved and that as it has been dissolved neither party is restricted from marrying another. Our examination of the Scriptures, however, will show that such is not the case.

 

The Guilty Party

The term "guilty party" is not found in the Bible. It is necessarily inferred, however, from the fact that if there is a divorce on grounds of fornication, there must have been someone guilty of fornication. We are speaking of the one guilty of fornication in a situation wherein the spouse is not guilty of fornication and exercises the right to terminate the marriage.

Several years ago we heard a brother argue vehemently that there was no such thing as an innocent party in any divorce. Apparently his contention was that while the one might have been involved in immoral behavior, the other was guilty of other things. He seemed to think that as this had to be the case, the right to divorce for the cause of fornication could not be claimed. It could only be claimed, so he seemed to reason, if the one not guilty of fornication had never committed any kind of infraction against the marriage. In other words, unless the wife could rightly claim that she had been a perfect wife, she could not divorce her husband because of his sin, even if it were fornication. The obvious problem with this position, however, is that it makes Jesus' inclusion of the fornication exception meaningless. Why would the Lord have named such a possibility if no such possibility could ever exist? Clearly sexual unfaithfulness is a crime of such magnitude against a marriage that it stands in a special class as a sin that may do irreparable damage to the marriage. Other failures as regards the obligations of marriage are not in the same class.

Having said this, however, attention should be given to a situation in which one party deliberately contributes to the other's becoming guilty of fornication. For example, there have been cases in which a wife has withheld herself from her husband in the expectation that he would eventually commit fornication. Likewise there have been men who would so psychologically abuse their wives as to drive them into the arms of other men. There have even been cases in which a spouse arranged to have the other seduced. In any case falling into the sin of fornication is inexcusable. At the same time, though, we surely recognize that the spouse who pushed the mate into sin is not truly an innocent party. He (or she) could not claim the right to divorce and remarry, even though the mate was guilty of fornication. The reason should be obvious. If such were allowed it would mean he could gain an advantage by his own sinful actions in deliberately pushing his mate toward immorality. It would be a case of doing evil that good may come (Rom. 3:8).

The very real possibility, therefore, that the one viewed by others as being innocent might be guilty of pushing "the guilty party" into fornication should make us very cautious about giving advice. The fornication cannot be justified, the other spouse may not be at all to blame. In many cases, however, only the Lord and the persons actually involved will really know.

 

The Right to Marry

Who gives men and women the right to marry? Clearly marriage is ordained by God. People have a right to marry because God gives them that right. Jesus reminded that God's law concerning marriage was "from the beginning" in order to emphasize that any departure from the original plan was because of hardness of heart (Matt. 19:8). Simply stated, God's law regarding marriage is for one man and one woman to be married only to each other for as long as they both are alive. Generally the right to marry is a right which is extended to every person (assuming physical and mental ability and allowable circumstances). It must be emphasized, however, that this is a right granted by God, it is not an inherent right. Since, therefore, God alone grants the right to marry, He can also restrict or remove that right.

This is demonstrated in Romans 7:3, where Paul shows that a woman in a certain circumstance does not have an inherent right to marry as she chooses.

So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.

A woman in the circumstance of being already married does not have the right to marry another. When she married her husband she surrendered the right to marry another for as long as her husband lives.

Consider also the instructions in I Corinthians 7:10-11. Here again we will see that the right to marry is restricted.

And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: but and if she depart, let her remain unmarried...

Notice that the wife who departs from her husband is to remain unmarried. The right to marry (another) is a right she does not have. The right to marry is contingent upon certain conditions. Stated conversely, the right to marry is withheld in certain circumstances.

In Matthew 19:9 Jesus teaches that there is only one exception to the law that no one, not any person, has the right to divorce and marry another. That one exception is the person who puts away his spouse because of the spouse's fornication. This is the only person allowed to divorce and marry another. Since this is the only person (the one who has divorced a mate because of fornication) allowed to remarry after a divorce, it is obvious that the guilty party is not allowed to remarry. If the guilty party is allowed to remarry, it would have to follow that the one exception Jesus named is not the one exception!

In an effort to evade the force of this conclusion, some have argued that the exception phrase should be understood as applying in the last part of the Matthew texts, as well as in the first. They argue that this can be assumed. According to this assumption, the last of text should read: "... he that marrieth her which is put away, except for fornication, doth commit adultery." By assuming that the phrase should be repeated, it might be interpreted that the guilty party can remarry. Hugo McCord's response to this position is worthy of careful consideration.

They know that in no Greek manuscript does the exceptive phrase appear in the second clause, and that without its being there, their cause is lost. Therefore they say the phrase must be inferred in the second clause. They ought to be afraid to risk people's souls on an unnecessary inference. And in their case the inference is not only unnecessary, but it makes Jesus contradict himself. In the first clause Jesus allowed only offended divorcees to remarry, but if the exceptive phrase is inferred in the second clause, then Jesus allowed offending divorcees to remarry. It is not complementary to an interpreter so to add to Jesus' words as to make him contradict himself in one sentence....

Brother McCord continues with observations relative to the original text:

Actually, however, the omission of the definite Greek article from the second clause forbids grammatically (besides the contradiction) carrying over the exceptive phrase to the second clause. This is true because the second clause in omitting the definite article cannot refer to any specific woman, but to any put-away woman. A marriage with any put-away woman, Jesus asserted, is adultery. To make Jesus say that he was only eliminating non-adulterous wives from remarriage, not adulterous ones, is slander against the beauty of the Lord's teaching.

The AV and the ASV both are faithful to the text in omitting the article from the second clause. The RSV and the NASV are clear, setting forth precisely what the Lord said... But the NEB ("a woman thus divorced") and the NIV ("a woman so divorced") bring the exceptive phrase of the first clause into the second, and so do not faithfully translate Jesus' words.i.

Who has the right to marry, therefore, is the issue relative to the guilty party in a Scriptural divorce. The issue is not whether the marriage is broken. Neither is the issue whether the man and woman become free from each other. The issue is whether God grants to the guilty party the right to marry.

It is sometimes argued that once the marriage is broken there is no obligation of fidelity toward one another, and that therefore to enter into marriage with another could not constitute a violation of the marriage contract. But there is more involved than the end of obligations between the parties. There is also obligation to honor Divine restrictions. God gives the innocent party the right to remarry. He does not give the same right to the one whose fornication caused the break of a union which God had ordained should last for a lifetime.

J.D. Thomas summarized this aspect of the issue clearly:

The original marriage called for a union until death, which each spouse was obligated to uphold. The only thing that can ever break the marriage bond while both parties are alive is fornication, and that only for the innocent party! "Except for fornication" is the one justifying ground for remarriage to another;, but the guilty party does not have this justifying ground. It is possible only for the innocent spouse. The guilty one is therefore still under all obligations toward the first marriage that he ever was, in the sense of being "bound to it" by God's law. Nothing has happened to give him freedom!... He still has an obligation that remains. If he should later repent, this will remove his guilt, but not his status.ii

 

Is Sin Profitable?

A comparison of Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:9 shows three possibilities of adultery. (1) Adultery is committed by the man who divorces his wife and marries another (unless he divorced her because of her fornication). (2) Adultery is committed by the divorced wife (assuming that she entered into a relationship with another man). This is the meaning of "causeth her to commit adultery" (Matt. 5:32). (3) Adultery is committed by the man who marries the wife who was divorced. Of course there is also the necessary inference that adultery is committed by the one who marries the one named in (1), because one could hardly be married to one who is in an adulterous marriage without being also guilty of adultery.

Consider the case of the wife who is put away. By divorcing her, her husband puts her into a position wherein she will commit adultery if she marries another. She does not have a right to marry another. Keep in mind that Jesus does not attribute any blame on her part for the break up of the marriage. That she was not guilty of fornication is clear because Jesus said she would be caused to commit adultery, and if she were already guilty of adultery, her husband would not be causing her to commit adultery by putting her away. Perhaps she burned the food. Perhaps she became unattractive. Regardless of the purpose of the husband, Jesus does not indicate that she was at fault. Still she does not have a right to marry another. This point is reinforced by the fact that the man who marries her also commits adultery. He has no right to marry her because she has no right to marry anybody.

If the wife who is divorced for reasons less than fornication does not have a right to remarry, by what token of logic and fairness can it be assumed that one who is divorced because he has been guilty of fornication does have a right to remarry? This would make sin profitable. There would be less hardship for the person who commits fornication and as a result is divorced than it would be for the person who does right and is divorced for it.

To emphasize the point, consider these scenarios. First, there is the case of John who divorces Jane because Jane was guilty of fornication. Jane then marries Bill. Jane and Bill are not guilty of adultery because her first marriage was dissolved on the grounds that she was guilty of fornication. This would be the case if the guilty party has the right to marry another.

In the second scenario, Mary is divorced by Sam because she is a Christian and Sam does not like being married to a Christian. Mary subsequently marries Ed. According to Jesus' explicit statement, both Mary and Ed are guilty of adultery. "But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife... causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery" (Matt. 5:32).

The notion that the guilty party may remarry puts a premium on sin. Jane, in the first case, is given the right to remarry because her divorce was because of her immorality. Mary, in the second case, is not permitted to remarry because she chose to be a Christian wife. Surely no thinking person can swallow such conclusions and it is a slander to accuse Jesus of teaching such (see Rom. 3:8).

 

The Enormity of Fornication

It is evident that Jesus intends that fornication must be viewed as a sin of exceptional consequence. He did not, of course, single it out arbitrarily. When committed by one who is married it is a sin against the marriage that is exceptionally intolerable. No one is expected to tolerate the sexual infidelity of his or her mate. A husband and wife become one flesh in marriage. For one of them to become "one flesh" (I Cor. 6:16) with a third person is to have committed a crime of such magnitude against the marriage that the marriage may be dissolved and the innocent spouse is allowed to remarry. The one who commits fornication, however, has thereby forfeited his or her right to insist on the continuance of the marriage, and, if divorced for it, also the right to be married to another. Though the world may treat immorality with tolerance, the Lord showed it to be a crime of enormous consequences.

It is argued that if the guilty party cannot remarry he/she is thereby sentenced to a life of celibacy and that this would be too harsh a sentence. It is thought that if there is true repentance, the person should not be required to forfeit martial bliss for the rest of life. Such, however, is indeed the awful consequence. Truly "the way of transgressors is hard" (Pro. 13:15). Some actions have irreparable consequences.

That we might be impressed with the enormity of this kind of sin, it will help to recall penalties provided under the law of Moses.

And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbor's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death (Lev. 20:10).

The rite of bitter waters described in Numbers 5 shows the Lord's curse upon a wife that was defiled in fornication. By way of comparison, we find that sexual activity which does not involve a married woman does not require as severe punishment.

And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife (Ex. 22:16).

Our point is not to trace all the variations of the Mosaic law regarding sexual sins, but only to call attention to the severity with which God has always viewed martial infidelity. The person who argues that it is too harsh to require celibacy of one who lost his marriage because of fornication should give some thought to what would have been his punishment under the law of Moses.

 

Moral Government

All of God's laws are intended for the welfare of the human race. This should be especially evident in regard to laws pertaining to the sanctity of marriage. No society has ever prospered while in disregard for His rules about marriage, divorce, and remarriage. The tragedy of the current AIDS epidemic is evidence enough. The folly of the world is that they think this curse can be removed by politics and medicine. Whether we want to call it a Divine curse or not, one thing is certain: it would have never occurred if God's rules of sexual morality were being followed. Divine ordinances are not arbitrarily given. They are given for our protection. Ruin is the natural consequence of rebellion.

How does this point relate to the issue of whether the guilty party can remarry? The human inclination would be to look at the individual case and have pity. We might feel that surely no harm will be done if this truly penitent person is given another chance and allowed to marry another. Our problem in this, however, would be that we do not see the whole picture. The Lord knows the awful consequences. If remarriage of one guilty party is permitted, it should be allowed for all. If it is allowed for all, where will it stop? It is sufficient to say that God knows best. Because He knows what is best, He does not permit the guilty party to remarry.

It can hardly be disputed that the stringency of God's laws regarding marriage and divorce is a strong imperative for working to solve marriage problems. If the guilty party were allowed to remarry there would be a temptation for persons unhappy in marriage to commit the sin in order to break the union. Such would be, of course, sin compounded by presumption, but the temptation would be there. One who knows and believes the Bible will surely think soberly before he commits that which may result in either perpetual celibacy or hell.

 

Is There Forgiveness?

Can the guilty party be forgiven? Certainly! The person who complies with God's requirements can be forgiven of all sins, even the sin of fornication, even the fornication that resulted in the destruction of his marriage. We would urge all such persons to seek forgiveness, and we would not hesitate to assure them of God's mercy and to receive them into fellowship. We have not been discussing whether the guilty party can get into heaven, but whether he can get into another marriage.

What guidance should be given to the person whose marriage has been forfeited because of his sin, but who has repented of his sin? Jesus said: "...there be eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake" (Matt. 19:12). This describes those who for the sake of doing right and for the sake of serving the Lord keep their sexual desires under control, even, as necessary, foregoing marriage. The only advice regarding marriage we can give the penitent "guilty party" is that he remain celibate, and that he give himself so completely to the Lord's service that marriage, being thereby of secondary importance, is not a burning desire. We must advise him that being lost is not worth "the pleasures of sin for a season" and that heaven will surely be worth it all. We must advise him that God has a high standard and that it is his duty to abide by it. We must advise him that his example may make a difference both in the church and the world—that others may be warned of the consequence of sin and that others who need to repent may be shown that a life of purity is possible.

 

Endnotes:
i. Hugo McCord, "The Guilty Party is not Free to Remarry," SS Lectureship, 1979, Volume Two: Fifty Years of Lectures.

ii. J.D. Thomas, "Divorce and Remarriage (9)," Firm Foundation, April 4, 1978, p.7.
 


Back to Articles Menu
Carolina Messenger
Spiritual Sword


Back to Charlotte Ave. Church of Christ Home Page